Cindy Joseph—60+ super model—got married last November. AskNelly asked her to share some of her thoughts about her new life.
Getting married after 60, by Cindy Joseph
AN: How has getting married changed your every day life?
CJ: "Bruce and I are more tolerant during stressful times. We don't carry grudges, we are more relaxed and we keep our sense of humor as a priority. Life is simply sweeter!"
AN: What has changed the most in your relationship?
CJ: "The trust between us is much deeper."
AN: What has surprised you the most?
CJ: "I thought we were already living as described above before we were married. Looking back, I now see we had so much more to gain. That has been a delightful surprise to me."
AN: What do you feel are the most important interests or values a married couple should share?
CJ: "I think it is a matter of how much attention we pay each other and how much we support each other's goals. Bruce and I have a lot of interest in family and friends, basically community. We both feel everything we do in life 'takes a village.' Sharing this point of view is very valuable to our relationship."
AN: Marital advisors often suggest that older people discuss the division of future financial responsibilities before they marry. Would you agree?
CJ: "Yes, we agree. Bruce and I have discussed this extensively over the seven years we have been together. We love our kids and want them to inherit what we have each worked for over our lifetimes. We also want to make sure we leave each other with financial security and comfort. As time goes by we will continue this conversation and shift our wills and financial planning accordingly."
AN: What words of advice would you give a woman over 60 who is contemplating marriage for the first time?
CJ: "Marriage is something you create with your partner. You can design it any way you wish. Never compromise. Compromise means each person involved loses a little. Set up a win-win situation. Look at the legal, financial and family aspects as well as the spiritual aspects before making any final decision to marry. Make sure you are both on the same page and in full agreement."
AN: What words of advice would you offer to a woman over 60 who is planning to marry for the second
CJ: "Exactly the same as above, plus be aware of any fears you may be bringing into the mix from past marital experiences, and try to resolve them. Not only can these fears fog your clarity of mind and prevent you from making smart decisions, they can also prevent your love from being expressed freely."