Being married for 53 years, my husband and I shared a lot of memories and affection, but the spark was gone. We hadn’t made love in quite a few years.
My Romance at 72: A True Story
And then suddenly my husband was no more. As I began to get over the shock of being a new widow, I realized how lonely I was, and a little scared, too, sharing my life with just my dog (though thank goodness for him!). I decided that I didn't want to go it alone. I wanted to be part of a couple again.
I quickly learned I was living in a new world with a way of forming relationships that was different from the way it was back in the 50’s. Before long I signed up with E-Harmony, which, if you’ll think back, was about the only on-line dating site in 2009--at least, the only one I had ever heard of.
Then came the embarrassing stuff--checking out pictures, exchanging emails with strangers--all the silliness, and scariness of putting yourself "out there" to be looked over and judged. Luckily, Ed and I found each other almost right away. He was a Texan--miles away from the NYC area--and eons away from my life style--but there was something that attracted us to each other.
We discovered an undercurrent of shared thoughts and desires that neither of us had ever found with anyone else. After a few months, we decided to meet in Austin, Texas. He brought his dog with him, which was great as I’m a dog lover. Almost immediately, there was no question, we were going to spend the night together. I had bought a new nightgown just in case. It was plain cotton, white and rather virginal. I was ready for a new beginning.
From the start, Ed was a gentle, considerate, and wonderful lover. My goodness, 72 years of age, both of us, and it was the best sex I had ever experienced! And he said it was the same for him. We were both blown away. It was really wonderful. I think we both felt like teenagers in love. There was the excitement, the discovery that sex could be deep, exciting, and so very stimulating. It was truly a “Fly Me to The Moon” experience (remember that song from the 1950’s?).
We’d done all the important things of young and middle adulthood. Had our children, raised our families, held down meaningful jobs, met our obligations. Now, finally, it was time for us.
We did need a little help from medical technology. I found that with the aid of a medication called VagiFem (you can get a prescription from your doctor) and a vaginal lubricant, I produced enough moisture to allow not only a comfortable, but a glorious, experience. And Ed, bless him, wasn't able to use Viagra but did have an erectile implant. So, there were no age-related problems. He could and did stimulate me, lovingly, to a joyful climax.
This new relationship, at the beginning of the end of our life journey, has touched the heart and soul of our beings. Perhaps because Ed and I are both mature adults, we have learned to live in the here and now and cherish it just for being the precious gift it is.